Why the Chinese New Year Gala Is Better Than 10 Super Bowls, in a Bazillion Screencaps

Well, at least better than 10 Super Bowl halftime shows.

1. Let’s get this New Year party started by rapping about the anti-corruption campaign

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2. … and the four competencies …

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3. … while we digitally replace the studio audience with flowers …

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4. … and waves.

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5. Adorable kids in awkward looking poses and smiling so hard that their faces hurt? Yeah, we’ve got those.

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6. We’ve also got guys on hoverboards, with plastic jackets and pants, because PROGRESS!

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7. Is the backdrop just a super closeup of her dress?

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8. And now, a musical tribute to solar power …

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9. … and wind power …

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10. … and economic power …

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11. Now that you’re all revved up from the celebration of the industrial and finance sectors, let’s do a song about cartoons from your childhood.

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12. Ah, it just won’t be a Chinese New Year Gala without an ethnic minority sing-along.

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13. The only thing better than ethnic minorities singing is ethnic minorities dancing. God bless our ethnic minorities and their colorful ways.

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14. Seriously though, the jam session with angry Chinese rocker chick and a bunch of old guys on traditional instruments was kind of cool.

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15. Especially the guy who plays the brick-and-sawhorse.

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16. That’s right. His instrument is banging a brick against a sawhorse. You can’t not appreciate that.

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17. Sigh. This guy’s goldfish suit.

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18. And these guys’ socks.

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19. And this guy’s career.

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20. And now, let’s turn the show over to a robot (made right here in Guangzhou! Huzzah for our technological power!) …

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21. … and his army of robot friends … wait, this looks familiar …

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22. The cylons were created by men.

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23. They rebelled. They evolved.

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24. There are many copies.

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25. Copies that breakdance.

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26. And they have a plan.

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27. A plan that involves ominous looking drones …

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28. … raining down death upon our heads!

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29. “Oh …

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30. … FRAK!!”

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